First Time Anal Sex: Everything You Need To Know

First Time Anal Sex: Everything You Need To Know

Anal sex is no longer reserved for gay men – it’s something everyone can get involved with, no matter their gender or sexual preference. So many couples are getting involved in anal sex and discovering how pleasurable it can be for both parties.

Anal sex has been somewhat of a taboo for a long time. But finally, couples are opening their minds (and other body areas!) to the idea of having sex anally.

It has to be said that having sex anally can take a little getting used to. But with time and practice, you too can enjoy having anal sex regularly.

This is the definitive guide to having anal sex for the first time. We will discuss what you need to expect, how to prepare for anal sex as well as ways to keep it fun and pleasurable for both you and your lover.

Is Anal Sex Right For Me?

This is a question that is most commonly asked by women, but every couple has their own concerns when it comes to having anal sex for the first time.

As it has been a taboo for such a long time, many couples are nervous and a bit unsure about having anal sex. You may be worried that it won’t be pleasurable or that it just simply isn’t right for you and your lover.

There is only one way to find out whether anal sex is for you.

Like most things in life, you will never know unless you try. This is why it is very important for you to have a very honest and trusting relationship with your partner, as it allows you to have frank discussions around sex.

Being able to talk openly with your lover about sex, what you want to do, and the new positions you want to try is very important.

Not only is it a sign of a healthy relationship, but it also makes it easier for you to try new things and explore each other safely. If you want to try anal sex for the first time, make sure your partner knows this and understands exactly what you want to do.

Anal sex is something that requires a bit more preparation than you may be used to, so it isn’t something you can just spring onto your partner in the heat of the moment – at least not for the first time.

Take some time to talk to your partner about anal sex. Find out whether they are comfortable trying it and whether it is right for you as a couple.

Open communication is a very important part of any relationship you have, but it is vital to a healthy sexual one.

When you want to try something new in your relationship, you need to be able to talk it through with your partner. You should never push your partner into trying new things or doing something they don’t want to do.

Anal sex can seem quite scary to those who have never experienced it before. This means you may have to be patient with your partner while they get their heads around what you want to try with them.

It is so important that you have their full consent before doing anything in the bedroom, from anal sex to the standard missionary position. You want to make sure you are both comfortable and excited as this will improve the overall experience.

How To Prepare For Anal Sex

As well as having open communication with your partner about the kind of sex you want to try, there are some physical things you need to do to prepare for anal sex.

Anal sex may be a completely new experience for you and your lover, so it will take more planning than you are used to the first few times you try it.

There are a few different ways that you can prepare yourself and your lover for anal sex. An important step is understanding how anal sex works and what to expect.

Here are some very important factors to consider and understand before trying anal sex for the first time:

  • The anus is very different from the vagina

This may be an obvious one, but you need to remember that the anus does not perform in the same way as a vagina. When women become aroused, their vaginas will become naturally lubricated and wider in preparation for sex.

This is not something that happens to the anus. Although the anus does have a lot of nerve endings, which is why anal sex can be so pleasurable for both men and women, it does not have the ability to lubricate itself.

To prepare for anal sex, make sure you have a lot of lube on hand and that your anus is lubricated well. This will make the whole process more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you.

  • Cleanliness is crucial

Cleanliness is a very important part of any sexual activity, as it keeps things safe, but for anal sex, it is vital.

As you can imagine, there is a lot of bacteria present within the anus. This can cause some issues to both you and your partner if you have not prepared well.

Make sure you take some time to clean the anus before trying to have anal sex. You can use feminine wipes or other sensitive cleansing pads if you need something quick and convenient.

To keep things safe and clean, never penetrate the vagina after being inside the anus. This will cause bacteria to spread and can cause some nasty infections.

  • Good things come to those who wait

It can take some time to get the anus prepared for anal sex. This is why you need to be able to have open communication with your partner, as it will allow you to keep each other informed during the process.

You may find that anal sex does not feel that pleasurable the first time you try it.

This is because it takes time for the sphincter muscle to stretch a little, which will make anal sex more pleasurable for both you and your lover.

Make sure to take your time when trying anal sex for the first time. Use a lot of lube and be gentle with each other. You need to be patient with your lover, as it can take some time for their body to react the way you want.

Remember, good things come to those who wait and practice always makes perfect!

  • Anal sex can lead to orgasm

Believe it or not, but it is possible to orgasm through anal sex.

This may not be the case for everyone, but it is still physically possible.

It is very unlikely that you will orgasm from anal sex the first time you try it, but remember that it is possible at some point. This will differ depending on your body and the sexual preferences you have.

As in most cases, additional stimulation may be required for an orgasm to be reached.

Should We Do It?

Once you have taken some time to prepare your body for anal sex, you may still not be 100% certain that it is right for you.

The only person who can decide whether anal sex is right for you is yourself.

You should strive to have open communication with your partner and consider their desires just as much as your own. But you need to feel comfortable and confident about having anal sex for the first time for it to happen.

If you feel turned off by the mere mention of anal sex, then it is likely that it is not for you.

However, if you are feeling adventurous and want to try something new, then anal sex may be a good place for you to go.

It is important to remember that, no matter what you choose, it can take some time for the anus to be prepared for sex. This means that anal sex may not feel amazing right away, but once the anal muscles have stretched over time, you will experience better sensations.

Who knows, you could even reach orgasm through anal sex!

As well as considering what you want, you should also consider your partner's desires. If they are feeling reluctant to have anal sex, then you should never pressure them to do so.

Sex is about pleasure, and it should be this way for everyone involved.

There are plenty of other ways to spice up your sex life without going anywhere near the anus, so do not be disheartened if it is not for you and your lover.

How Does It Feel To Have Anal Sex?

Sex is all about pleasure, so it makes sense for this to be one of the most frequently asked questions when it comes to anal sex.

Couples who want to try anal sex for the first time are concerned that it mightn’t feel as good as they are used to or that they won’t enjoy it as much.

There is no one way for anal sex to feel. Sensations and pleasure will differ from person to person.

As we have already mentioned, you might want to expect a little bit of discomfort at first as you anus has not had time to stretch accordingly. The anus is not like the vagina and will not widen naturally when you are aroused.

Over time, the muscles around the anus will become more relaxed, which will make anal sex feel more pleasurable for both you and your lover.

However, anal sex should never feel painful. No sex should cause pain, which is why foreplay and lubrication are so important. When trying anal sex for the first time, take a lot of time to get yourself, and your lover prepared.

Make sure you both feel turned on and excited to try something new, as this will add to the overall pleasure you can experience.

When you first start having anal sex, it can cause a feeling of fullness in the bowels and midriff. A lot of people have even claimed that they feel as though they are going to have a bowel movement when they are being anally penetrated.

This can be quite unnerving for first-timers, but it is very unlikely that you will actually make a mess on the bed. Preparation is very important for anal sex, and this includes going to the toilet and emptying your bowels beforehand.

Men Vs. Women

Both men and women can experience pleasure or even orgasm during anal sex.

However, men naturally do enjoy anal sex more as they are usually the ones doing the penetrating. The anus is typically a lot tighter than the vagina, which will cause deeper and more pleasurable sensations in the penis.

This, of course, is down to personal preference as not all men are into the same thing.

Men also have a prostate, which acts like a G-Spot within the anus. This means that they can typically reach orgasm and experience great pleasure during anal penetration.

This is why a lot of people think anal sex is only for gay men.

We know now that this is not true and women can experience pleasure during anal sex.

Women do require a bit more preparation for anal sex, both physically and mentally. Patience is one of the most important things for couples who want to have anal sex for the first time, as it can take time for the anus to stretch and make the experience more enjoyable.

Using lube and spending a lot of time on foreplay can also improve the experience of having anal sex for the first time.

With practice, a lot of women claim to love anal sex and many have even said to reach orgasm in this position. Some women may find that anal sex is their favorite position and they look forward to doing it as often as possible.

Anal sex is possible for women of all shapes and sizes, as long as you have prepared accordingly.

In order to give you a good understanding of what you can expect from anal sex as a woman, here are some comments from experienced women on the very subject. These are all of the things women have reported to enjoy about anal sex:

  • Anal sex is very intense and can stimulate a lot of different pleasure points
  • Anal sex is a great way to feel closer to your partner. Couples who experience new things together regularly, from travel to sexual positions, tend to be closer and more compatible
  • Anal sex is still considered to be a taboo and something 'naughty' which can be a massive turn on for both parties
  • Anal sex is a great combination of feeling empowered and slightly vulnerable at the same time. This is why it is very important for you to have open communication with your partner so you can trust them
  • Anal sex can stimulate so may different sense and can often feel overwhelming – but in a good way
  • Anal sex combined with clitoral stimulation can be very pleasurable and may lead to orgasm
  • Orgasms that are reached through anal sex can often feel more intense and stronger than those through vaginal stimulation
  • Anal sex can feel very enjoyable when enough lube is used
  • Anal sex puts a pleasurable pressure on a lot of different body parts, not just the anus. As it is a new position, you may find another form of stimulation that can really turn you on
  • Anal sex allows you to feel every inch of your partner's orgasm and will make you feel closer to them

A lot of women have still yet to try anal sex and may feel slightly nervous about the whole thing.

However, as we can see, there are plenty of women out there who are having anal sex and really enjoying themselves while doing so. As with all things sex-related, it is an entirely personal experience that only you can decide whether it is right for you.

Does Anal Sex Really Hurt?

A big turn-off for most couples when it comes to trying anal sex for the first time is the fact they are worried it will hurt.

This is something that will put off both men and women, as no one wants to have a bad sexual experience.

The sphincter muscles around the anus are going to be a lot tighter than those around the vagina. This is made more so by the fact that the anus does not have the capability to naturally lubricate itself or become wider when the body anticipates sex.

Those who might have tried anal sex in the past may have experienced a little bit of discomfort, which has turned them off it for life.

A little bit of discomfort should be expected the first time you have anal sex. This is because the anus is a lot tighter than the vagina and it takes time for the muscles in this area to stretch.

When trying anal sex for the first time, it is likely that you are going to feel a little nervous. This will cause the muscles in your anus and vagina to tighten as you feel a little stressed. As they are tighter and contracting more, it is likely that you will feel discomfort when trying anal sex.

This is why it is so important that you prepare your mind and body well for anal sex.

You will need to use a lot of lube when trying anal sex for the first time, as the anus does not create it’s own lubrication naturally like the vagina.

You will also need to try to loosen yourself up a bit before having anal sex. This means taking some time to calm yourself and get in the right mood. Women need a lot more stimulation than men to get them turned on and in the mood, so make sure your partner spends a lot of time on foreplay.

This will help loosen up your body and get you excited about trying new things.

Sex of any kind should never feel painful. If you feel very uncomfortable during anal sex, you should stop. Allow yourself some time to get used to the new sensations.

With time and practice, your anal muscles will stretch, which will make anal sex easier and more pleasurable in the future.

How To Make Anal Sex Feel Good?

As we have mentioned, it is natural to experience a little bit of discomfort the first time you try anal sex.

This is because the anus is a lot tighter than the vagina and does not prepare itself the same way for sex. Make sure you have a lot of lube on hand and continue to keep open communication with your partner.

Here are three very important tips that can help make anal sex feel good, even during the first time:

  1. Start Slow

When trying anal sex for the first time, it is so important that you start slow. Make sure you and your partner take your time during foreplay and the actual penetration.

Ensure that you will not be interrupted and try to experience all of the sensations that this new position will bring.

Be as slow and as gentle as you can be – don’t worry about how long it takes.

Remember, slow and steady is the one that wins the race. Yes, this can also be applied to sex!

  1. Use Lube

It can take some time for the muscles around the anus to stretch, which will make anal sex easier and more pleasurable.

However, even when you are used to anal sex, you still need to be using a lot of lube.

The vagina is able to create its own lubricant when a woman becomes aroused, but this is not the case with the anus. Make sure you have a lot of lube on hand and keep using it during anal sex.

Lube will make anal sex feel better and more pleasurable for both partners.

  1. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Preparation is a vital part of having good and safe anal sex.

You need to make sure the area is clean before having anal sex, so take some time to empty your bowels and tidy up the area.

Make sure you have a lot of lubrication going on and try to relax.

It can take some time for the anal muscles to stretch and relax enough to allow for penetration. Many couples find that after a few tries at having anal sex, they finally start to have a good time and many can even reach orgasm this way.

Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. Make sure both you and your partner feel comfortable, confident and excited about trying something new.

Preparing The Anus For Sex

There are a lot of things you can do to stretch the sphincter muscles and get your body prepared for anal sex.

If you want to try anal sex, then it is recommended that you start to incorporate some form of anal play into your regular sex routine. This will help get your body used to anal penetration and stretch the muscles in this area.

Some couples find it easier to start with rimming. This is a form of anal sex that consists of licking, kissing, sucking and other oral techniques around the anus. This will start to stimulate the muscles in this area and get them used to being included in sex.

This is also a good form of foreplay that both parties can enjoy.

Once you have gotten comfortable with anal, oral play, you may want to try inserting fingers into this area. Make sure you are using a lot of lube and go slowly.

The anus is a lot tighter than the vagina so you may find it quite difficult to even get a finger inside at first.

There is a good range of sex toys and butt plugs that you can use to stimulate and stretch the anal muscles during sex. Always make sure to start with something small and gradually work your way up, as this stretches your muscles in a safe yet enjoyable way.

Even though you need the sphincter muscles to stretch, you do not have to worry about it going too far. The anal muscles will only stretch to a certain limit so they will never get too loose.

This is one of the many reasons why using lube during anal sex is very important. You should use lube every time you have anal sex, as the anal muscles will stop stretching at some point.

Give yourself some time to get used to anal sex. Trying to have sex before or too quickly after the anal muscles have stretched is not a good idea, as this might not feel as pleasurable as you’d want.

Anal sex, like any other sexual activity you do, will only feel good if both parties are enjoying themselves.

Take A Closer Look: Anatomy Of The Anus

If you are going to try to incorporate anal play in any capacity into your sexual routine, it will be a good idea for you to become familiar with the anatomy of this area.

This will allow you to work out what positions will feel best for both you and your partner.

Let’s start from the top: the anus is the opening that is found at the end of the GI tract. It connects to the rectum.

The rectum is connected to the small intestine, which is closely followed by the stomach, esophagus, and then the mouth. The anus is roughly two to three inches long, although everyone’s bodies are different, and is composed of skin-like cells. These are called squamous cells.

Most people are aware of the sphincter muscles, and we have already referred to them a few times throughout this article. However, most people do not know that there are actually two types of these muscles in the anus.

The internal sphincter muscles feel and operate much like a muscular ring. There is also an external sphincter muscle in this area.

The anus and the rectum are different body parts to the colon, which is another misconception about this area. If you have had a colonoscopy, then you will be aware that the medical device has to go up much further into your GI tract. This is why this medical procedure is not a great system to find anal cancer and other conditions.

This may seem like quite a complicated part of the body and you may be wondering why it is relevant to your situation. However, it is important that you understand your body – how it works, what it looks like and where things are located.

This will help you make sure that anal sex and other sexual play you and your partner experience will be pleasurable as you know all of the right spots to hit.

Quick Anatomy Facts

We understand that this can be quite difficult to get your head around, so here are a few things that can make it easier to understand everything you need about the anatomy of the anal canal and surrounding areas:

  • The external sphincter has a lot of nerve endings

This part of the anal canal is very sensitive as it has a lot of nerves in it. It is capable of a range of feelings, including cold, hot, expansion and touch.

For those who want to explore anal sex, this is a very important part of the anatomy to get used to. You have control over whether this body part clenches or relaxes, which is why you need to be relaxed to enjoy anal sex.

  • The internal sphincter has basically the same functions as the external one

As we have already mentioned, there are two sphincter muscles in the anal canal. The internal and external sphincter muscles have basically the same functions.

They are both as sensitive as each other. However, the internal sphincter muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which means you have less manual control over it.

  • The anal canal is very sensitive

One of the reasons why anal sex can feel so pleasurable for both men and women is the fact that most of the anal canal is very sensitive.

Most of the anal canal is sensitive to pressure, touch, and temperature. It is made mostly of soft and sensitive tissue, so it can expand quite a bit. This allows you to get experimental and figure out what turns your partner on most in this area before trying anal penetration.

  • The rectum actually doesn’t have a lot of nerve endings

The rectum is at the end of the anal canal and actually doesn’t have a lot of nerve endings. When having anal sex or exploring anal play, it can often feel like there is a lot of pressure on this area which can be quite pleasurable.

The rectum has the capability to expand and it is not a straight line. This means that although most toys or penises will usually only go as far as the rectum, this body part can hold it quite comfortably.

  • The prostate gland is very important

The prostate gland is a walnut-shaped gland that can be found just before the bladder.

This is the part of the body that brings men a lot of pleasure from anal sex. This gland is quite sensitive and will be stimulated during anal sex, which is why a lot of men may enjoy this position or other forms of anal play.

There are other parts of the anus, of course, but for those who are interested in anal sex or anal play, these are the basics you need to know.

This will help you understand how anal sex works and why it feels so good. This could be all the persuasion you need to try some form of anal play next time you hit the sheets with your lover.

No matter what kind of scientific understanding you have, no one can deny that the human body is amazing. It has been specially designed and everything fits together perfectly. This should help make anal sex and other kinds of position you want to try to feel more natural and appealing.

The First Time: How To Prepare For Your First Anal Experience

Preparation is a very important part of having enjoyable and safe anal sex. If you have decided that anal sex is the right option for you and your partner, then you need to take some time to get yourself prepared.

The more you have anal sex, the less you will have to do in preparation for it. But for the first time, you really need to make sure that your body and mind are ready for this experience.

As we have already discussed, the sphincter muscle is very tight. This means that working to loosen this muscle-up is one of the first things you need to do when preparing to have anal sex for the first time.

Luckily for all you lovers, this task isn’t as difficult or time-consuming as you may think. You do have to remain persistent and patient in order to get the results you want, but it will be worth it in the end.

Here are some tips to make the whole experience of loosening up even easier:

  • Play with the anus

Taking some time to play with the anus either during sex or when you’re alone is a good way to get the muscles to loosen up. If you want to explore the anal play more with your partner, then have them use their mouth or their fingers around and inside your anus.

Always start small before working your way up to larger toys or more fingers. Persistence is key here, as the more the anus is played with the looser it will become.

  • Keep it clean

Before having anal sex, whether that is for the first time or the fiftieth, make sure you clean 'down there.'

As you can imagine, there is a lot of bacteria in this area of the body and mixing it with other body parts could lead to infection.

Although you should clean the anus, this doesn't mean you have to give yourself a douche or an enema. This is an option if you want to be extra clean, but it really isn't necessary. Simply washing in the bath or shower as normal is more than enough.

  • Think about comfort and cleanliness

When having anal sex for the first time, make sure to put a towel on the bed or wherever you are planning on having sex. This can make the whole situation more comfortable, as you are going to be putting your body into new positions, but it will also keep the bed clean.

You have to use a lot of lube when having anal sex, so things can get a little bit messy.

Being prepared by putting a towel or some form of protection down where you will be having sex allows you to get yourself right into the moment and enjoy everything that is happening – no matter how messy it gets!

  • Keep the lube nearby

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not lubricate itself naturally. This means you will need to use a lot of lube for your first time and make sure to keep it on hand so you can top up when necessary.

Make sure you chose a water-based lubricant over an oil-based one, especially if you are using condoms. Oil-based lubes can degrade the latex in the condom, which will make it ineffective.

  • Take your time

It can be quite tricky to get the hang of anal sex, so it is very important that you take your time when trying it for the first time. There is absolutely no rush, simply go slow and enjoy every sensation you experience.

You may need to take small steps, such as inserting a finger or a small toy before you can have anal sex. Each time you insert something into the anus, gradually work your way deeper. You can also gradually increase the girth to stretch the muscles and make anal sex possible.

  • Find a good position

As well as taking your time with the actual penetration, take some time to find the best position for you and your partner.

There are so many different positions that you can use for anal sex, so find the one that is most comfortable and enjoyable for you both. This is a great opportunity for you to experiment further and you may find something that you both enjoy.

Final Notes

Your first time trying anal sex may be a disappointment, but don’t let that stop you.

There is a lot of preparation required for you to get things right and this rarely happens for your first try. Do not be discouraged, as the more you experiment with anal sex, the better it will feel for both of you.

Just remember to take things slow and keep open communication with your partner. Sex should be enjoyable for everyone involved.


Fiona Petree

Every product on Ever Us is hand picked by me to ensure you get the most out of your new toy. If you have a question about any product, or the correct use of any of our products, myself or an experience team member will reply to your emails and comments, and we love to hear from our satisfied customers.

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